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The Blessingway Ceremony Empowers Pregnant Women

Dr. Melanie Beingessner — Sat, 09 May 2009 04:24:00 GMT

I've been so honoured to be able to interview one of the fabulous women who wrote Mother Rising - The Blessingway Journey into Motherhood by Yana Cortlund, Barb Lucke and Donna Miller Watelet. Donna graciously took time out of her busy life to answer a few questions that I emailed to her about the Blessingway and how it can significantly empower a woman as she prepares for labour, birth and ultimately, motherhood

(Mother Rising Cover and it's authors: Yana Cortlund, Barb Lucke and Donna Miller Watelet.)

Donna, do you have any advice for women who are having a difficult time embracing their upcoming motherhood?

Yes, and let me say that I had my own concerns that left me feeling disconnected from my son’s up-coming birth at the time. I highly recommend getting yourself a copy of our book; “Mother Rising: The Blessingway Journey into Motherhood”, (Celestial Arts Press, 2006, available on www.blessingwaybook.com). Then ask one or two of your best friends to throw you a blessingway and hand them the book. If you’ve never experienced a blessingway ceremony for an expecting mother, you will find it to be a very empowering experience for everyone present, especially the expecting mom. And Mother Rising outlines step by step how to put together a blessingway designed to serve many different kinds of women as they approach motherhood whether for the first time or not.

In your words, what makes a blessingway ceremony so special?

A blessingway serves to reconnect the mother-to-be to her innate ability to mother and to the various gifts and talents she possesses that will help her in her new or expanding role once she gives birth. It is a sacred and joyful ceremony designed to support a mother-to-be in unburdening her heart, gaining confidence and celebrating her innate gifts. The pleasure for a pregnant woman in sharing a blessingway ceremony with a carefully chosen group of women, who support her vision of birthing and mothering, is profound.

I've noticed that Mother Rising includes women who are adopting their babies in the blessingway circles and I just love that! Do you have any stories or insights for women who are about to adopt a baby?

Yes! I had the pleasure and honor of planning and facilitating a blessingway for a woman friend of mine who was in the process of adopting a child she and her husband had already been introduced to through letters, emails and pictures from the orphanage he lived in for his first few months. The ceremony gave her the opportunity to talk about and release some pent up emotions driven by unexplored fears she had been holding about adopting a child. It also helped her connect with the women present and them to her in a very personal way that created for her a circle of women she knew she could trust to support her even in the hardest times as she labored to bring her new son home and as all three of them adjusted to life as a family.

Can you tell us about how a blessingway ceremony helps a woman to address any fears that she might have?

Certainly. A blessingway and most rituals can be constructed to include both an emptying out portion and a filling back up portion, with room left over for the unknown to be allowed to reveal itself as things move forward. The emptying out portion or “Releasing of Fears” in a blessingway is designed to help each particular mother-to-be to release old beliefs, fears and habits that no longer serve her through introspective sharing and compassionate guidance from a facilitator. Whether through a guided, eyes closed exercise, by hearing an experienced mother share about an issue, doing a journaling piece, through a release to fire of symbolic items, whatever makes sense for that mother-to-be, releasing fears is powerful work that opens women up to the highest and best selves that are often buried beneath the surface.

You touch on blessingway themes: bonding with the new baby, preparing for successful breastfeeding relationships, family unity and maintaining a close bond with an older sibling. Would the person leading the blessingway weave these themes into the ceremony, or are there other ways to introduce them?

Great question. And there are any number of ways to do that especially since my co-authors and I agree that there is no right or wrong way to do a blessingway or any other ritual. That said, over the years we have refined and expanded the way in which we create the blessingways that we have been a part of with greater and greater success in creating more powerful and more deeply meaningful rituals. But in the beginning our blessingways were still powerful and joyful events so trust that using Mother Rising as a guide the special circumstances of any mother-to-be can be enriched and empowered.

Regarding how various themes become a part of a blessingway, it all centers around the mother-to-be and her situation and specific needs, so we start by having a sit down chat with the mother-to-be. Bearing in mind how personal things like birthing, feeding, toilet training and sleeping arrangements after birthing can be, we start by asking simple questions about her likes and dislikes related to possible blessingway elements and whether she has any favorite elements she’d really like to have in her blessingway. Then, we gradually begin asking some questions in a very sensitive way about any concerns she may have about pregnancy, birthing, mothering, and family dynamics… whatever seems right for her particular situation. (We included a list of possible questions for a mother-to-be in “Mother Rising” that you can work from too.)

From there, the mother-to-be is invited to step back and trust her facilitator(s) so that she can be led through the experience, not lead it, much like the need to trust the support of others as we birth and learn to mother. Often some or all of the participants help plan the blessingway. Using the expecting mother’s answers to the questions asked, in conjunction with the invited circles members’ set of skills and talents, the blessingway takes shape often with many women leading various parts of the ceremony.

One of your ideas in Mother Rising is to send participants home with candles to light when the woman goes into labor and blow them out once the baby is born. What a beautiful thing to do! Have you had any other suggestions like that since you've written the book?

Hmmm, I have seen women go home with prayer ties and small scrolls they made while together at the blessingway to place somewhere they will see them and remind them to meditate on their expecting friend and touch base with her before, during and after birthing whether directly or spiritually.

I’ve recently thought that sending everyone home with a copy of a prayer or visualization printed on beautiful paper along with an agreed on time to meditate or pray on the mother-to-be and her journey’s well being, would be powerful for everyone and relatively easy on our busy schedules. The mother-to-be can simply open herself to receiving from them at that same time. Ideas like these are limited only by one’s imagination and its sense of what can hold meaning for those involved. And the time between blessingway and birth is a time that she needs your support to bridge this new state of mind and heart to last until labor and beyond.

Rituals for women seem so important, even if we don't have so many of them in North American society. We live separate lives; many of us are so busy. I'm thinking about having a blessingway ceremony for my daughters when they have their first menstrual cycles to celebrate womanhood. Do you have any advice or thoughts for me about this?

In “Mother Rising”, the word “blessingway” with a small “b” refers to the passage ceremonies that we create in our part of the country for a woman preparing to give birth. In some Northern Native American traditions, (and perhaps others), the English word “Blessingway” with a capital “B” relates to passage ceremonies at numerous points in life. The Five Stages of Ritual in “Mother Rising” are the perfect out line for any sacred celebration.

Simply use those pieces from the book that fit your goals just as they are written, adapt them to fit your needs, search the web for inspiration or create new pieces yourself using things you find as models. A rite of passage into fertility for a girl is an opportunity to gather a strong circle of adult women, (and perhaps one or two girls who have yet to menstruate), to impress upon the girl-in-transition - perhaps through dance, song, poetry, art, whatever speaks to her - the magnitude of the gift and the responsibility she now hold in her body, as well as to honor the girl’s particular gifts and talents that will support her in making good choices with her body, mind, heart and soul as she grows and matures.

What is the most important thing you would want every pregnant woman to know?

That we each hold within us the value, power, beauty and grace we need to walk this and any other women’s journey, and that even when it appears that we walk it alone, we are walking the well worn path of women’s wisdom traveled by women everywhere for hundreds and hundreds of years, and that an open heart and mind can feel that connection and the sense of limitless possibilities it offers. How do we access that? A blessingway would absolutely create that sense of connection, but I would want to encourage every woman preparing to birth to set aside time in some way to consider what she knows about birthing and mothering to be clear what she wants to happen with her body and her baby as well as identifying any concerns that stand between her and her confidence. Whether it’s through a blessingway, a trusted women’s circle, a group of trusted friends, some private counseling with a good therapist… take the time to clear the path to your own unique journey into motherhood.

What is the one thing that you wish could be done differently with regards to birth?

I am always happy to see new free standing birthing centers open up. My feeling is that the rotating staff in hospitals’ birthing programs can bring with them varied levels of openness to a woman’s preferences when birthing. Now I’m sure that it is better in some places than others, but in my experience the smaller free standing facilities with their own internal staff generally have a better track record in honoring a woman’s birthing choices as well as being trusted by their patients, thanks to the patient’s familiarity with the whole staff, enough to feel confident about taking any advice from them instead of feeling the need to advocate for themselves while giving birth! Where trust and confidence exist, whether giving birth in your own home, a birthing center, hospital or any other setting, a woman will be better able to focus herself on guiding the intensity of her birthing energy during labor which creates healthier outcomes for mothers and babies alike.

Donna, thank you again for spending time with us. Hopefully women will be inspired to buy your book and create beautiful blessingway ceremonies of their own. The world cannot have enough empowered mothers.

It was my pleasure. This project was a gift to me since I believe in the power we each have inside us to change our future by truly understanding our present state of self. I am uplifted by the knowledge that this information can inspire women to open themselves to making deeper, more conscious choices about birthing, mothering and how they live the rest of their lives. Thank you so much for the opportunity to share what I believe in so passionately ~Rev. Donna Miller Watelet

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Doulas Make An Amazing Difference!!!

Dr. Melanie Beingessner — Fri, 08 May 2009 04:44:00 GMT

Especially if you are having a medical birth, hiring a doula can be the easiest thing you can do to positively affect your labour and birth. Many women don't know what doulas do, so here's an excerpt from Getting Ready for Baby to help get you started...

Doulas are women (angels, really) who are comfortable with birth and physically comfort both the labouring woman and her partner during this time of intense emotional stress and physical strength. Doulas are there for you throughout your entire labour and birth. They come to your home early in your labour (or later, if that is your preference) and they help you decide when is the best time to go to the hospital, if you are planning to have a medical birth. If you are having a midwifery birth at a hospital, your midwife will come to your home when you are in active labour and will know when is the best time to leave.

The presence of a doula at your birth is proven to make a significant difference in your birthing experience. Hiring a birth doula is one of the simplest and most effective ways to help you achieve:

• A shorter labour and birth.
• Reduced need for pain medication.
• Fewer Caesarean births.
• Less frequent use of oxytocin (a drug used to speed up labour).
• Less frequent use of forceps.
• Fewer complications.
• Greater success with breastfeeding and breastfeeding for a longer time after birth.
• Greater satisfaction with your birth.

Without doubt, your birth experience will be better because of a doula. Doulas provide physical and emotional reassurance as you labour along and they include your partner and help him (or her) to help you. Doulas provide comfort measures such as touch, gentle massage, movement, warm showers, baths and much more. Many doulas will take pictures for you and write a birth story, if you’d like them to.

For more complete information about the positive effects of doulas on labour and birth, The Doula Advantage by Rachel Gurevich or The Doula Book by Marshall Klaus, John Kennell and Phyllis Klaus are absolute must reads. To find a doula in your area, please refer to www.dona.org. You may need to interview many to find the one who will be your best fit.

Getting Ready for Baby is Dr. Melanie's latest book, designed to help pregnant moms organize theirselves and their homes for life with baby. For more information click here.

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Everything You've Wanted to Know About Babywearing

Dr. Melanie Beingessner — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 17:49:00 GMT

One of the best websites that I've found that talks about babywearing is by Dr. Maria Blois (pictured above). If you are at all interested in learning about the benefits of wearing your baby, please check out her website and her blog in particular.

I've emailed her a few questions that many of my patients wanted to know and she was gracious enough to respond. These questions are about the basics of babywearing, and we encourage all of our patients to learn more.

1. Dr. Blois, what is babywearing, anyway?

Babywearing is the simply the practice of holding your baby close in a soft carrier while you go about the daily business of life.

2. What makes it so special?

Well, first of all, it is wonderfully convenient for parents! Holding our baby in a soft carrier means that our hands are free to do other things. Baby is comfortable and content and we get to focus on something else besides baby care. Babywearing meets the needs of parents to "get something done" while also meeting baby's needs for warmth, movement and security.

3. What are the top three benefits of babywearing?

As it turns out, babies are some kind of clever creatures. Yes, babies want to be held, but it goes deeper than that. Studies show that biologically, babies need to be held in order to thrive. A review of current randomized controlled trials suggest that the benefits of holding for preterm babies include shortened hospital stay, decreased illness, higher exclusive breastfeeding rates/longer breastfeeding duration, increased weight gain, improved temperature regulation, and improved maternal sense of competence. Evidence-based benefits for full term babies include improved state organization and motor system modulation; improved temperature regulation; and an analgesic effect, reduced crying, improved maternal responsiveness, and babies who were more securely attached. Good stuff, all around!

4. Is a sling or a baby carrier better?

Any soft carrier that properly supports and aligns the head and neck of a young infant and that is comfortable for the caregiver is fine.

5. Is there anything else that you'd like us to know?

I am often asked about the dangers of "spoiling" a baby by holding them "too much." The thinking goes like this: If I hold my baby too much, then she will grow to expect to be held and then I will be stuck holding her all the time. In my humble opinion, this is a moot point. In our arrogance, we assume that we have created the need to be held by holding our babies, when in fact babies are born hardwired to seek out that which they need to thrive: food, warmth and human touch. Whether we hold our babies or not, they will still biologically need to be held. We cannot spoil a baby by meeting their basic needs.

6. If you had one thing that you'd like new mothers to know, what would it be?

Hold your baby, nurse your baby, love your baby, get to know your baby. Let the rest of the world move on by and take this time to focus on you and your baby. After mothering four of my own babies, I can say without hesitation that you will never regret the investment you have made in your children. They are worth it.

Thanks, Dr. Blois for taking the time for us! You can find out more on babywearing at www.drmariablois.com

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Simple Ways To Calm A Fussy Baby

Dr. Melanie Beingessner — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 05:46:00 GMT

As new parents, it can be so frustrating to try to soothe a baby when they fuss and cry. Here are some ideas that might help you to calm a fussy baby, they have certainly worked for us!

1. Dance together. Gentle music soothes babies rather than fast music with a lively beat. By swaying and humming to the music, you can entertain a baby enough to help him relax and stop crying. If you can, make a tape or CD of your favourite slow songs and enjoy some bonding time together.

2. Carry your baby with you wherever you go. Babies calm down when they feel you close and hear your heartbeat; a baby sling or a baby carrier will support your back and make it easier to do this. Newborn babies aren’t able to support their own body weight, so a baby sling works best for the first few months. Once your baby is able to sit up on his own, a baby carrier is a great choice as it allows him to face outward and see the world.

3. Swaddle your baby before you rock him to sleep. New babies like to feel snug and cosy, and swaddling can create that feeling for them. If you would like more information on how to swaddle a baby please visit www.drmelaniebee.org, click on the Pregnancy and Breastfeeding button, and look for Simple Ways to Calm a Baby on the left side of the web page.

4. Skin-to-skin contact can help. One of the nicest ways to accomplish this, especially in the evening, is to run a warm bath, light a few candles and turn off the lights. Sit in the tub, place your baby on your chest, and cover his back and legs with a warm facecloth. Babies like the feel of the close contact, the warm water, and the pretty lights. Bath time is an excellent way for dad to have special bonding time and it gives mom a bit of a break.

5. Infant massage provides much relief for babies, as it helps to promote bonding, relaxation and brain stimulation. It also helps to improve digestion and results in a deeper sleep for your baby. For more information about infant massage, please visit www.iaim.net.

6. Wrap up your baby warmly in your baby stroller and go for a walk. Especially if you walk on a sidewalk, the rhythmic bumping movement can soothe a baby quickly. You both get some fresh air and you benefit from adding exercise to your day.

7. Go for an evening drive. Some babies find the hum of a running engine to be soothing. I found that if I placed two rolled up burp cloths on either side of my baby’s head and then tucked a blanket firmly around him as he sat in his car seat, it helped him to feel more comfortable and secure in the car.

8. Rock your baby to sleep. Rocking provides gentle movement that can calm a fussy baby. Either hold your baby in the crook of your arm with pillows for support, or hold your baby on your chest as you rock back and forth.

9. Vacuum the floors of your house. Some babies find the hum of a vacuum to be calming. Place your baby in a sling or a baby carrier and start vacuuming. If your baby does calm down with vacuuming, you benefit in two ways: you end up with a calm baby and a clean floor.

Here's a start anyway. Do any of you have great ideas to calm fussy babies? I'd love to hear from you!

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The HealthPod Baby - A Mom's Best Friend

Dr. Melanie Beingessner — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 02:15:00 GMT

Recently I was able to meet with Jana Sinclair, one of the co-creators of the HealthPod Baby. It was a great discussion for both of us and I was able to learn a bit of the story behind the Health Pod Baby’s creation.

HealthPod Babys, for those of you who are unfamiliar with them, are zippered organizers that you use to keep track of your child’s health information from birth (or from whenever you start using them). HealthPod Babys have tabs for you to keep your information readily available: your child’s pertinent health information, a record of prescriptions and immunizations, questions for your health care providers, and more! HealthPod Babys even have note paper and a pen handy for you to use. Just take it with you when you travel, or visit your health provider and everything that you need to know will be at your fingertips.

Melanie: Jana, tell my how you got the idea to make the HealthPod Baby.

Jana: Well, it really started with Nancy. Her son was going through a tough time with chronic ear infections — they would become a problem at various times and Nancy found it difficult to keep up with which antibiotics worked and which caused problems for her son. It was especially problematic when they were travelling and they had to see a new doctor who wanted to know her son’s history. She began keeping his prescription history and details of his symptoms in a book – which essentially became the first prototype of the HealthPod Baby!

Also, with my first baby, I had a problem where she was weighed with a scale that wasn’t calibrated properly and was diagnosed as failure to thrive (although she was healthy!). I had to go in to have her weighed quite frequently for a few weeks. I had scraps of paper falling out of my diaper bag and it was difficult to keep track of the measurements they were taking.

So, one day over breakfast Nancy, myself and our friend Marci were talking about how we needed a place to keep health information together and the idea of the HealthPod Baby began.

Melanie: Sounds great! But how did you go from the idea to having an actual HealthPod Baby in your hand?

Jana: Well, we knew what we wanted, but we needed to know if other moms would use it and how they wanted it to function.. We put together a few focus groups and had some great input from moms. Things like it needed to have lots of pockets and be hard enough to be able to write with it on your lap. It also needed to be able to be customized to a child’s specific needs, etc.

Melanie: Did you have any other help?

Jana: Yes, we asked 20 different health professionals for their input on what the most important information was that parents should keep on their childʼs health and we put it in a really simple format thatʼs easy for parents to use.

Melanie: So you’ve got the idea and some great input, what was next for you?

Jana: Our biggest challenge was finding a manufacturer that would make the product to our specifications. Once we sourced a manufacturer, the rest seemed to come together fairly easily. With a product finally in our hands, we had to figure out how to sell it and market it –and how to run a company.

The three of us started b.l.i.s. (because life is special) inc. and we all take turns at getting things done within the company. We seem to share a lot of the responsibilities – kind of a divide and conquer scenario when it comes to delegating tasks. We meet once a week and talk about the opportunities coming up and the direction that we want to go.

Melanie: So what has been your response so far?

Jana: Absolutely wonderful. We have HealthPod Babys in about 90 retailers throughout Canada, including the Alberta Children’s Hospital. The doctors and health professionals there just love them. We also promote them in child and parenting fairs, and through partnerships with doulas and midwives.

Melanie: What are some of the great things about having a HealthPod Baby?

Jana: You donʼt need to be an organized person or someone who loves to journal. The HealthPod Baby was designed so that it takes minimal work to keep the most important information about your child. If you ever need to relay your childʼs health information in an emergency or to a new doctor, everything you need will be in the HealthPod Baby. It`s also a great place to store all the information you collect from the doctors, encourages you to write down your questions before your health visits to help you optimize the time you have with your doctor, and also creates a lasting record of your child`s early years. Essentially, it’s a place to keep all the important information together so its easy to share with others, its easy to find, and nothing gets lost.

Melanie: So how can someone get a HealthPod if they can’t find one?

Jana: People are welcome to visit our website at www.healthpod.ca for a list of retailers or to purchase a HealthPod Baby on-line. We ship HealthPod Babys all over the world. And if people want to send a HealthPod Baby as a gift, we can ship it directly to the recipient along with a gift card!

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Stunning Baby Announcements!

Dr. Melanie Beingessner — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 17:40:00 GMT

Cheryl Peddie, from Emerge Creative has kicked off a new website that I'm sure you'll just love. It's called Pink Paws and it offers artwork for children that you can customize for your baby or child. Currently, there are mainly birth announcements available, but soon you'll be able to customize artwork for your child - and celebrate what makes them truly unique.

If you are looking for something truly wonderful for a new baby or a special child in your life, visit Cheryl's website!

Chiropractic Care Makes A Difference During Pregnancy

Dr. Melanie Beingessner — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 05:28:00 GMT

It is surprising for me that many women do not know that chiropractic adjustments can help them to have an easier pregnancy and quite likely, an easier birth. The truth is that chiropractic care facilitates a more comfortable transition from early to late term pregnancy and through to postpartum recovery.

As Chiropractors, we assess your spine and pelvic joints to see if there are certain areas that are not moving as easily as they could. We perform many of the same tests that your physician does to determine that you are in perfect health: a complete history, orthopedic exam, neurological exam, and a postural exam to see how your body is adapting to your pregnancy. If we find that you have areas in your spine or pelvic joints are not moving properly, we usually adjust them. The choice is yours as to whether we adjust or not. What is important to remember is that a chiropractic adjustment will allow the areas of your spine that are stuck to move again, which will relieve your discomfort.

The pelvic area is of great concern to Chiropractors. The pelvis is essentially a ring made up of four bones: the sacrum, which is the triangular bone at the base of your spine, the tailbone that is attached to your sacrum, and the two hipbones of your pelvis. These four bones are held together by many ligaments and connective tissue. Relaxin, the hormone of pregnancy, is released in the body from early on in the pregnancy to soften these ligaments to allow better passage of the baby during labour and birth. What can happen later on in the pregnancy is that the ligaments stretch quite a bit, to the point of overstretching. The sacroiliac joints (where the sacrum meets the pelvis) can become quite moveable and walking can become a challenge. The “pregnant waddle” can be noticeable as a woman walks because, at this point, the sacroiliac joints move too much and the body locks the sacrum into place by causing the woman’s feet to turn out and for her to lock her knees. With a Chiropractic adjustment, the sacroiliac joints are able to move in a more normal position and the woman is able to walk more easily.

The goals of Chiropractic care throughout pregnancy are to ease the pregnant woman’s areas of discomfort and to help promote a more stable pelvis. A study done in 1990 showed that women who were under Chiropractic care throughout their pregnancies had reduced labour times. First time moms experienced 25% less time in labour and birth and moms with previous babies averaged 31% shorter labour times. Also, another study done in 1991 showed that women who experienced back pain during their pregnancies had a 72% chance of having back labour during labour and birth. Back labour isn’t pleasant and Chiropractic care can help ease back pain.

Chiropractors are interested in relieving your aches and pains throughout your pregnancy and during your postpartum period. Immediately after birth, your body experiences another great posture change and your back needs to adapt to not having a pregnant belly anymore. The posture of breastfeeding can cause great discomfort in the midback, especially between the shoulder blades. There is the constant lifting, bending, stooping, carrying the car seat about, rocking, walking and so on. Life with a new baby is definitely another time where chiropractic care can help your body more easily. Once again, we keep the fixed or subluxated areas of your spine moving smoothly.

After birthing a baby, your body continues to produce relaxin for approximately the next four months, but in a gradually decreasing amount. This process helps the ligaments to slowly tighten back around the spine and the rest of the joints in the body. Chiropractic care can keep the joints in your spine and pelvis in optimal alignment as your ligaments pull back into place around the joints of your spine.

To find a chiropractor near you, Canadians can visit www.ccachiro.org or www.icpa4kids.org.
Americans can visit www.amerchiro.org or www.icpa4kids.org.

For More Information on pregnancy and breastfeeding please click to visit Dr. Melanie's webpages.

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Calm Your Fussy Baby Easily By Changing Your Diet

Dr. Melanie Beingessner — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 16:06:00 GMT

When babies cry for hours on end, their parents (especially first-time parents) can be driven to distraction. It is quite clear that something is bothering the baby. What is not obvious is how to relieve the baby’s pain. The result is that someone walks with the crying, fretful baby for hours on end hoping to calm him or her, so that the house can be peaceful and that everyone has a hope of getting a decent night’s sleep. The parents are exhausted. The baby is exhausted. Each day blends into the one before, with fussiness and crying as the grand finale to really long days.

There is hope. There is a reason why the baby is fussy. Many times, the reason for the fussiness at night is that a breastfeeding baby is reacting quite negatively to what his or her mother is eating. During the first months of life, a newborn’s digestive system is quite porous, which allows larger particles of foods through the lining of the digestive system into the blood stream. Little bits of food particles normally found in a breastfeeding mom’s breast milk can actually irritate the baby’s digestive system, and can cause pain. Also, the food bits that cross the lining of the digestive system can create slight allergic responses that become either frank food allergies, or food intolerances. Both can result in the baby experiencing gas, pain and/or discomfort.

By eliminating certain foods on a short term basis, many breastfeeding mothers find that their babies’ crying time decreases dramatically. It can take up to two weeks of diet modification before results are noticed (many notice changes right away!) Many mothers notice that if they cheat and eat the foods of concern, their babies cry and fuss throughout the evening. When they follow the breastfeeding elimination diet, their babies hardly cry at all! By about the fourth month, the lining of the baby’s digestive system matures and many of the foods can be eaten with no ill-effects.

Here is one of the delicious breastfeeding-friendly recipes found in The Calm Baby Cookbook. It is delicious way to use up any holiday leftovers that you may have:

Waldorf Turkey Sandwiches

½ cup sunflower seeds
½ cup chopped walnuts
1 cup diced turkey
½ cup diced apple
1 celery stalk, finely chopped
¼ cup raisins
½ cup Lite Miracle Whip or mayonnaise
1 tsp. grated lemon peel
Sea salt and pepper to taste
Lettuce leaves
Whole wheat rolls

Preheat a non-stick frying pan to medium-low and add the sunflower seeds and walnuts. Stir often until they are toasted evenly. Remove from the burner and let cool.

In a bowl, combine the Lite Miracle Whip or mayonnaise, lemon peel, sea salt and pepper. Add the remaining ingredients and stir to coat. Spoon onto fresh rolls and top with fresh lettuce.

Enjoy!

For more information about the foods that cause a baby’s discomfort, please visit www.drmelaniebee.org.

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Easy Ways to Improve Your Baby’s Intelligence

Dr. Melanie Beingessner — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 05:01:00 GMT

After a baby is born, her brain and her nervous system get to work learning about how her body works and the world that she live in. Despite the fact that a newborn sleeps quite a lot of her day, a baby’s brain and nervous system are incredibly busy. If fact, from birth to 2½ years old, a baby’s brain is the busiest that it will ever be in her entire lifetime as it learns to process information and to develop new skills. A baby learns that this is mom and that’s dad and how to move her body in space. She learns how to recognize important people in her life and what certain words mean.

From the age 2 ½ to 5, to improve efficiency, a child’s brain starts to prune down connections (the technical term is synapses) that aren’t used much. If parents play and engage with their babies, they help to strengthen synapses within the brain, and reduce the pruning process.

In summary, from birth to 5 years old, parents have a great opportunity to stimulate their child’s brain to ensure that its connections within the brain and to the body are strong. Here are some easy things that you can do to stimulate your child’s brain:

Delay returning to work for as long as possible. The first year of life is really important to establish the bonding and attachment process between a baby and her parents, especially with her mom. If mom or dad can be at home that first year, your baby will have more secure relationships with you and everyone else in her life.
Carry your baby around with you, wherever possible. The physical act of moving back and forth as you walk and bend stimulates the part of your baby’s brain that tracks balance and position of the body. Babies who are carried usually walk faster than babies who are not.
Breastfeed your baby as long as possible. Breastmilk contains all that a baby needs to support her developing brain and nervous system. It gives a baby immunity from viral or bacterial infections, it provides comfort and enhances the mother/baby bonding and attachment process. Studies have shown that babies who are breastfed have relatively higher intelligence than babies who are not.
Touch your baby whenever possible. The physical act of touch is a great way to stimulate your baby’s brain. Infant massage is especially beneficial because it provides the positive benefits of relaxation, improved digestion and an enhanced quality of sleep. You can learn infant massage from a certified infant massage instructor, or you can read books or watch videos. An added bonus is that the people who are giving the baby massage have improved health, reduced stress, and they sleep better, too!
Respond to your baby’s needs in a timely manner. When a baby cries, she is communicating a need for something that almost always is comfort, food, or a diaper change. The saying that “you’ll spoil a child if you go to her whenever she cries” is simply incorrect. When you respond to your child’s needs, your baby learns that mom and dad can be depended upon. She also learns that she has value as a person.
Read and sing to your baby. Language and music are great ways to stimulate a baby’s brain. We have a specific place in our brains that processes language and music and the more that you talk to your baby, the more stimulation that her brain will receive. Classical, country or light rock music are the best choices as their beat is stimulating, but not overly so. It is important to realize that television or radio programs are not a good substitute for a real conversation. A baby is not able to follow a television or radio’s message, and most babies tune out television or radio sounds because they over stimulate a baby’s brain.

The underlying principle is that the more time you spend with your baby in play and with one-on-one interactions, the more you stimulate your baby’s brain. Add some of the above suggestions to your day and everyone benefits from time spent together because it’s just plain fun!

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Mom Mentors Advice for New Moms

Dr. Melanie Beingessner — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 20:17:00 GMT

Here is a place for experienced mothers to offer their experience to new moms who are working on their mothering skills. If you have some great tips on how to survive the first year as a new mom, please post them to our blog.

If you are a new mom and you would like some experienced advice, ask away and we'll do our best to help!

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Mom Mentors Advice for Pregnant Women

Dr. Melanie Beingessner — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 20:04:00 GMT

One of my best ideas is to provide a place where new moms can ask questions and experienced moms can share their hard earned experience.

If you know of any advice that you'd like to give a pregnant mom about pregnancy, birth, and life with baby, please feel free to do so. Pregnant moms, ask any questions that you may have, we'll do our best to answer them.

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Organizing Your Life Helps Tremendously When You’re Having a Baby

Dr. Melanie Beingessner — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 03:25:00 GMT

Excerpted from Getting Ready for Baby

It is extremely helpful in during your pregnancy to eliminate the clutter in your mind and in your life so you can focus on family bonding once your baby is born. Brainstorming all the tasks that need to be completed is a great way to start. Take a large piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. Designate one side for home tasks and the other for work tasks and then inventory of your home and work life and list everything you find that needs completing, no matter how large or how small.

Here’s an example to get you started:

Unfinished Things to Do

· Take back library books

· Take in car for oil change

· Clean out room for baby

· Plan for maternity leave

· Clean out closets

· Buy nursing bras

Once you have made a list of all the tasks that you can think of, take three highlighter markers and go over your list again.

Color in yellow all of the things that are important for you to finish before your baby is born, such as special projects at work, choosing the paint color for your baby’s room, buying those nursing bras.

Color in pink all of the things that need to be done but aren’t important for you to do them. For example, could you have someone else take your car in for an oil change, and the library books back? Could you get a local charity to come and cart away the junk you’ve been saving for the garage sale that you’ve never got around to?

Color in green all of the things that really aren’t important for you to do anymore. Do you have unfinished projects that are taking up space in your closets and are no longer interesting? Do you have obligations at work that aren’t really necessary?

Once you have finished highlighting your tasks, you’ll find that it now becomes much easier.

Yellow items are top priority for you. These are things that you need to finish before your baby is born. Or, at least, these things would free up time and emotional involvement so that you can relax and enjoy bonding time with your baby. Number the yellow items in order of priority and give yourself a reasonable deadline to get them done.

Pink items are tasks that you can delegate to your partner, family members or friends. Make a list of these items in order of importance. When anyone asks if there is anything they could do to help, simply pull out your list and find a job that they would be able to do for you.

Green items are projects and commitments that you need to purge from your life. Get rid of that needlework that you’ve been pecking away at for the last six years and now decide that you don’t like very much. Throw away or recycle your unwanted items, you’ll feel light and free once you give up old obligations to tasks that no longer work for you.

If you take the time to organize the clutter in your life, you will find that once your baby is born, you will be able to relax and enjoy your time together. Taking the time you need to bond with your baby is quite simply one of the best gifts that you can give yourself.

For more information on how to organize yourself and your life to make a smooth transition to motherhood, visit Dr. Melanie's website.

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Expert Advice on Birth Plans - a Conversation with Dr. Marsden Wagner, author of Creating Your Birth Plan

Dr. Melanie Beingessner — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 05:34:00 GMT

In our latest book, Getting Ready for Baby, we recommend that pregnant women read Creating Your Birth Plan by Dr. Marsden Wagner. Well, luckily enough for us, Dr. Marsden Wagner, author of Creating Your Birth Plan, has graciously given his time to answer a few of my questions on advice that he would give to pregnant women.

Dr. Wagner is an independent consultant on maternity care and has been featured in US News and World Report, Health, Mother Jones, the New York Times, and the Los Angeles Times, as well as appearing on Dateline and Good Morning America. He is a former director of Women’s and Children’s Health for the World Health Organization, and the author/editor of eight books including Creating Your Birth Plan: The Definitive Guide to a Safe and Empowering Birth.

Dr. Wagner’s personal story about how he has come to view a woman’s birth and the power that she has is found in his book. He has given me permission to print the following excerpts:

The first time I was present at a natural, unmedicated birth a transformation took place near the end of the woman’s labor. Her face began to glow and she shouted her feelings of determination to everyone within earshot. She was going to do this! The moment she pushed the baby out of her body, she triumphantly yelled, “I did it!” Then she leaned over, took her newborn infant in her arms, and looked around the room proudly, wearing an angelic expression that would have put Michelangelo to shame. It was awe inspiring. Every woman should feel as much pride and euphoria at her labor’s end.

As for me, at that moment my understanding of childbirth would never be the same. Even with all my experience as a physician, it was surprising for me to see a woman give birth in her full power and autonomy: making strange sounds, moving however she wanted to make herself comfortable, and clearly demanding her needs be met—and having her birth attendants support all her choices. It was unlike most hospital births. I had been trained to take charge of birth and use my medical skills to make sure that women in labor wouldn’t be harmed, to arrange the risks with technology and action. I had been trained to believe that I “delivered” a baby, even though healthy women push out their babies. Before that day it never occurred to me that a healthy woman having a normal labor wouldn’t need my services, that there would be nothing to do— except give her room and stand by. But on that day my medical approach was superfluous. This event helped me understand that there needed to be a better balance of medicine and nature.

There is a biological as well as a psychological explanation for what I had just witnessed. The birthing woman’s amazing transformation—her clarity of purpose and strength—was the result of the release of endorphins (naturally occurring hormones in the body that relieve pain and enhance the sense of overall well-being), basically acting like an internal dose of morphine without any of the risks or side effects. Athletes call the painkilling and euphoric effects of endorphins the “second wind” or “runner’s high.” It was the powerful sensations of childbirth itself that triggered her rush of endorphins. Her pride of achievement was also based in knowing that she was a capable woman. She had risen to the occasion, handled the physical challenges, and brought forth a new life.

More than four million American women give birth each year, with more than 95% of them in hospitals. They choose hospitals for a variety of reasons having to do with the incorrect idea that hospitals can provide the safest births. Although women sometimes choose to labor in hospitals because they have no access to a home-birth midwife, or because an insurance company mandates the decision, often it’s because they believe that a doctor can guarantee their safety in case of an emergency. While midwives oversee some hospital births, obstetricians and labour-and-delivery nurses manage the majority. Another reason women choose hospitals is to have access to strong pain medication—epidurals.

As a result of our reliance on hospitals and doctors, birth in America has come to be perceived as a medical event rather than a natural one—we literally view it through the eyes of doctors. We spend twice as much as any other country in the world per birth, because medical technology and drugs are highly esteemed and widely available, and we want to purchase the best care. Even in normal pregnancies, our rate for interventions, like electronic fetal monitoring, labor induction and augmentation, and cesarean section is skyrocketing. Nonetheless, many other countries get better results than we do using less technology and fewer medications. What are the pregnant women and the maternity caregivers in those countries doing or not doing that would benefit you?

Creating Your Birth Plan will explore the standards of care in hospitals, out-of-hospital birth centers, and at-home births. According to scientific evidence, do hospitals and doctors adhere to the best and safest practices? Do midwives adhere to the best and safest practices? Under what types of emergency conditions is it important to be under the care of an obstetrician? What factors are valuable for you to take into consideration before giving birth in a hospital is an independent birth center, or at home? What would a truly natural birth, one without any interventions and medications, be like?

As an expectant mother you need to be an active participant in your own care. You need to know how to recognize excellent professional caregivers as well as how to protect yourself from the less-scrupulous type of practitioners who allow fear of litigation to influence their decision-making about childbirth and outweigh research studies.

As a physician and scientist, and a former director of Women’s and Children’s Health at the World Health Organization (WHO), I headed a team for fifteen years that gathered scientific data on different forms of maternity care throughout the worlds’ industrialized nations. We investigated everything from labouring postures and whether or not a woman should eat, drink, and move around, to the efficacy of electronic fetal monitoring, ultrasound, intravenous drips, anesthesia, episiotomies, forceps and vacuum extraction, and cesarian section. Creating Your Birth Plan incorporates those findings.

In North America today, there is often profound misunderstanding and mistrust of the midwifery model of care that other highly industrialized countries worldwide embrace and find essential for the management of normal, healthy labor. Statistics have shown that home birth and hospital birth managed by midwives tend to be safest for women and their babies, as well as most fulfilling. Hopefully this book can help you understand midwives, so that you can carefully evaluate the services they provide based on facts, not myths.

Producing a healthy baby is a major goal of birth. But a successful birth outcome involves so much more than mere survival. We should not disregard the human impact of childbirth. Positive laboring experiences set women up to become good mothers and more confident people. Some people climb mountains or run marathons to find out what they are capable of. Giving birth presents a comparable opportunity for the woman who decides to become a mother. It can reveal her to herself and transform her self-image.

My questions for Dr. Wagner wereasked specifically for pregnant women who need to know about birth plans, what they do and what they should consider when they write theirs.

1. What would you say are simple things a pregnant woman could do to positively influence her birth?

Choose a midwife to be your primary birth attendant. Choose a free-standing birth center for your birth or choose a home birth.

2. If your daughter was having a baby, what would you like her to know?

Obstetricians are surgeons who have never seen a normal birth and don’t know what it is so they medicalize all births they attend. A hospital is for sick people so a birthing woman who is not sick should not go there any more than she should go there to have sexual intercourse. A Cesarean section is major abdominal surgery with serious risks for both woman and baby.

3. What do you wish that medical doctors would do differently with respect to birth?

I wish that medical doctors should stop being responsible for normal, low risk birth and focus strictly on high risk pregnant and birthing women who have serious medical problems.

4. What could a labouring couple do in a hospital setting to reduce their levels of anxiety?

A laboring couple in a hospital should bring along their doula and put a door stop under the door to their room so that anyone wishing to come in must knock first and ask permission to come in.

5. Do you have any advice for a newly pregnant mom with regards to her birth plan?

Pregnant women should read my book Creating Your Birth Plan early in their pregnancy.

We recommend Dr. Wagner’s Creating Your Birth Plan in our clinic for new moms and we urge all pregnant women to get a copy and read it from cover to cover. You will be better informed to make the choices that only you can make when it comes to birthing your baby.

For More information, or to order a copy of Creating Your Birth Plan, please click the following:

Regarding birth plans, I'd also like to add a quick plug for our latest book, Getting Ready for Baby, which helps pregnant women everywhere have a healthier pregnancy AND organize their homes and their lives to make a smoother transition to motherhood.

For more information about Getting Ready for Baby, The Calm Baby Cookbook or information on pregancy or breastfeeding, please visit Dr. Melanie's website.

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It was just SOOO funny

Dr. Melanie Beingessner — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 05:21:00 GMT

Last week, my family was at a fast food restaurant, and during a conversation with my 5 year old, we began to talk about her life when she grew up. When she mentioned having babies, I was a bit surprised, but I played along.

"When you have a baby, you'll be the mom and I'll be the grandma," I said. And then my beautiful girl looked and me and said, "but mom, I'm never having a baby."

"Why not?" I asked.

Amanda then (in the middle of a crowded restaurant) lifted up her shirt to expose her chest. "BECAUSE THE BABY IS GOING TO CHEW ON THESE!!!"

Once I had gained control, I tried to explain that it really does feel nice... and then I laughed for days.

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Getting Ready for Baby - Our Story

Dr. Melanie Beingessner — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 18:35:00 GMT

We have had so many questions about Getting Ready for Baby, that I thought I'd tell you about it in this blog and refer interested people here.

Just after my first baby was born, I was starting my chiropractic practice and I had a chance to chat with someone who had children that were older than mine. We were living in Vancouver at the time and my husband was traveling a lot because of his job. I was overwhelmed with learning to care for a baby and starting a practice and one day, over coffee, I just looked at my friend and asked, "Benita, do you ever feel..."

And she cut me off with a twinkle in her eye, "you feel tired all the time and lonely with Bruce gone so much. There is so much to do and you just can't keep up. You sometimes want to scream because there is no time for you, and you wonder if you're doing everything wrong." Well, in thirty seconds she had summed up my life. "How did you know?" I asked, thinking that I must be pathetic if it was that obvious.

"We all feel that way." And those words changed my life. I was NOT alone, and I was NOT a failure as a mother if everyone else felt the same. To my relief, I realized that I was doing just fine.

Life was more manageable after that day. Once Cody was older, and I was working, I noticed that the pregnant mothers in my clinic were experiencing the same doubts and fears that I did. They weren't sure of their options for birth or what to do next and they always wondered if they were missing something important.

One day, inspiration struck: there was a way to help. Pregnant women needed a guide- something to help them organize their lives so that they could find their way to becoming mothers easier. As a journal and a weekly planner combined, it could serve to improve communication with their health professionals and include advice from moms with hard-earned experience.

What a great concept! Ideas just flowed onto the page. But, a few months later, we moved back home to Calgary...and along came Kayla, our girl with the wild hair and the sweet smile. Then Amanda, our little miss sunshine, and even though I was busy at home and at work, throughout this incredible journey, the pregnancy journal was always in the back of my mind, simmering away.

So now, after ten years and three kids, the pregnancy journal that I had the idea to write is now complete... and it is more beautiful than I ever imagined. This is thanks to many wonderful women in my life who have read the book and offered their ideas about what they needed to hear during their pregnancies.

The book's beauty is all due to the incredible talent of Cheryl Peddie, her artwork and book design. It could never have happened without her, and I am grateful to call her my friend.

As for the rest, time will tell. People are very interested in the book and we are selling them over the Internet from our Heartlights Publishing website. The Dr. Melanie Bee website offers information about Getting Ready for Baby and The Calm Baby Cookbook (Dr. Melanie's first book for breastfeeding moms) and many articles about pregnancy, breastfeeding and general health questions. Both websites offer more in depth information about the books and sample pages for you to see how wonderful they are. We welcome you to visit our websites to take a look!

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Getting Ready for Baby Celebrated BIG TIME!

Dr. Melanie Beingessner — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 04:55:00 GMT

Our book launch party to celebrate Getting Ready for Baby was a big success and fun was had by all who attended!

After 10 years of thought, 3 kids and establishing a chiropractic career, I've finallly found the time to finish Getting Ready for Baby: a Practical Five-Step Guide to Help you Prepare for Labour, Birth and Life as a Family. This has been a work from the heart since February and it is now sitting on my desk and currenly being sent to pregnant women in Canada, the US and internationally. It is simply beautiful thanks to Cheryl Peddie - the graphic artist who did all the artwork and layout and has made the book more than spectacular. Cheryl's website is www.emergecreative.ca if you're interested in seeing more.

I am fortunate to have many friend who work in all aspects of the birthing world. Getting Ready for Baby has been co-created with so many wonderful women who have read the pages and offered excellent suggestions - I am so grateful for all of their help. For now, I wanted to get pictures of the book launch party posted so that everyone could see the great time that was had by all. If anyone would like more information about Getting Ready for Baby or The Calm Baby Cookbook, please visit www.drmelaniebee.org or www.heartlightspublishing.com.

Here are the pictures. Enjoy!!!

Left to right: Cheryl Peddie (graphic artist), Dr. Melanie Beingessner, Lisa Brown (registered massage therapist)

Left to right: Jennifer Elder (doula), Deb MacFarlane (postpartum doula - three wise women) and Debbie Guido (friend)

Left to right: Dr. Melanie Beingessner, Alison Reimer White (midwife in training) and Molly

Melanie and Bruce Beingessner

Left to right: Erin (friend), Dr. Melanie and Nancy Ehlers (sister-friend and business partner)

Left to right: Kevin MacFarlane (Deb's husband), Kim Watt-Senner (RCMP constable and Dr. Melanie's sister!), Bruce Beingessner (Dr. Melanie's husband) and Dana Gallant (human resource manager Boutique of Leathers)

Left to right: Kim Watt-Senner, Dr. Melanie and Del Watt (their dad!)

It was a great day for everyone!

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